Or: When the Board Isn’t Lying – It’s Just Practicing Misdirection with Diagrams
There’s something almost touching about our Board’s devotion to not telling us anything useful. When they’re not denying, deflecting, or describing transparency as a “journey” – they pivot to their other great talent:
đź› Providing irrelevant information with the confidence of a TED Talk.
You ask for the budget breakdown.
You get:
“Here’s a high-resolution image of the boiler.”
You ask if there’s a loan.
They respond with:
“Did you know this boiler was installed with a flange-torque assembly?”
You request the actual cost of the project.
They proudly offer:
“Here it is… from another angle!”
To date, we’ve received more photos of boilers than financials.
If there’s an afterlife, I now expect to be judged by the number of JPGs I’ve been sent of thermal valves.
At this point, if the building burned down, the Board would issue a bulletin titled:
“Exciting Fire-Related Developments in Our Furnace Infrastructure – with Photos!”
And let’s be clear:
This is not lying.
It’s worse.
It’s the weaponization of the obvious.
“We are committed to transparency,” they say, while showing us pictures of pipes.
What we need: numbers.
What we get: boiler slideshow.
By the end of the meeting, no one knows:
- What was approved
- What it will cost
- Whether we’ll be paying it off until 2083
But we do know that the boiler is cylindrical. And… frankly, kinda photogenic?
If this were a mystery novel, the twist would be:
The real misdirection was the PowerPoint all along.
Final thought:
If your idea of disclosure involves six angles of a water heater and zero answers about where the money went – congratulations.
You may be eligible to run for condo board.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
