Because Nothing Says “Democracy” Like Appointing Your Sister to Count the Votes
Ah, election season – that sacred democratic ritual when the people gather, raise their voices, and are promptly muted by a microphone held hostage by the chair.
Let’s talk about how things went down at our last “free and fair” condo election:
👩‍⚖️ The Scrutineer Was the President’s Sister
That’s right. The person responsible for counting the ballots -the guardian of integrity – was literally related to the incumbent.
Apparently, we’re doing Family Day at the Ballot Box.
If you think this might be a conflict of interest, don’t worry – the Board said it was “technically allowed.” And what better reassurance than the phrase “technically allowed”?
🎙️ The Mic Only Worked for Their People
Magically, the microphone cut out any time someone raised a concern the Board didn’t like. You’d start a sentence like:
“I have a question about the budget”
CLICK. “Time’s up.”
Meanwhile, their preferred candidates had enough time to deliver speeches, show PowerPoints, and thank their 7th grade math teacher.
đź‘Ą A Lineup of Loyalists
Somehow, only people supporting the current regime made it to the mic. And somehow, they all had prepared statements. It was like watching condo karaoke night – if all the songs were just praise for the Board.
One owner tried to speak about legal spending and was told it was “off-topic.”
(Despite the fact that half the budget now goes to lawyers.)
⚖️ Speaking of Lawyers…
The room had more legal representation than a mob trial.
- One lawyer for the Board
- Another lawyer to defend the first lawyer
- And one just silently watching you, like a budget hawk with a cease – and – desist form tucked under his wing
Ask a basic question, and suddenly you’re cross-examined.
🧾 Pre-Decided Results
The results were announced before some owners even had a chance to vote. Amazing efficiency – or clairvoyance? We may never know.
The whole thing felt like voting at a casino:
The house always wins.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
