It was a dark and stormy AGM season. Somewhere in the belly of a grey condo boardroom, panic struck.
A group of meddling unit owners (you know, the ones who read documents and actually understand them) had the audacity to requisition a meeting. A real one. With an agenda and everything. Questions about finances, accountability, loans… you know, terrorism.
Naturally, the board responded with measured restraint. Just kidding… They went full covert ops.
🔍 Operation Signature Scrub was launched.
Overnight, a shadowy campaign began to unfold. Owners received mysterious emails, quiet phone calls, and the occasional “friendly visit” in the hallway. All with one purpose: withdraw your signature. Please. Pretty please. For the good of the community. Think of the children. Think of the elevators.
Rumours swirled of coercion, confusion, and at least one instance of “accidental withdrawal due to printer jam.” One elderly owner was reportedly told that the meeting had already been canceled – a full week before the board even pretended to count the forms. Another was offered “coffee and a chat” by a board member who just happened to have a stack of blank withdrawal slips on hand. Coincidence, obviously.
Meanwhile, the board – noble defenders of transparency – refused to say who had withdrawn, or even how many. “Just trust us,” they said. “The math checks out.” Unfortunately, so did their legal budget.
💡Reminder: If you’re trying to block a democratic meeting by erasing signatures like a Soviet census, you might be the problem.
But don’t worry – in the spirit of openness, the board has promised to hold a different meeting. On their terms. With their agenda. With no questions about the loan, the budget, the lawsuits, the service dog thing, or why Bob hasn’t been seen since he asked about the lawsuits.
In completely unrelated news, the board has now ordered all requisition forms to be submitted in disappearing ink.
🗣️ Stay tuned. Stay awake. And always keep a backup copy of your signature. Preferably notarized. Preferably fireproof.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
