Well folks, we finally had our Special Meeting, and in true Blenvale style, it came with a price tag that could fund a small community theater – and was just as theatrical.
Blazer Selfworth, defender of the indefensible, had the gall to inform owners that this routine owners’ meeting cost $22,000. That’s not a typo. Twenty-two. Thousand. Dollars. For a community meeting.
Let’s do a little math together, shall we?
- Cafeteria rental: $60/hour
- One-time registration fee: $40
Even if we generously assume they booked it for 4 hours (what is this, the G7 Summit?), the venue cost would be around $280. So where did the other $21,720 go?
Ah yes – lawyers. Plural. Three of them. At a condo meeting. Because apparently, our board needs a small army of legal minds from SueMore & BillMore just to handle questions from owners like, “Why didn’t you give us notice of the lawsuit before it started?” and “Where did the money go?”
It’s clear this board doesn’t trust itself to chair a meeting without legal babysitters. A competent board would pick a chair, run an agenda, take questions, and maybe even answer them – without billing the community like it’s a Bay Street merger.
But don’t worry – Blazer insists they’re following the Condominium Act. Which is adorable. Blazer’s grasp of the law seems to begin and end with whatever spin the legal babysitters cooked up that morning. If spin doctoring were an Olympic sport, he’d podium for quoting bylaws he hasn’t read and confidently “clarifying” rights that don’t exist. His version of compliance is less “rule of law” and more “choose your own adventure with legal disclaimers.
And let’s not forget – they’re just volunteers. Normally, you’d say you get what you pay for. But in this case, we’re bankrolling a full legal entourage and getting the governance equivalent of a garage indie band that just learned how to plug in the mic.
This isn’t transparency. This is theatre with a legal cover charge. And you, dear owner, are footing the bill.
Coming soon to a cafeteria near you: The Sequel. Featuring the same lawyers from SueMore & BillMore, the same evasions, and – if we’re lucky – an actual answer or two.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
