Once upon a governance disaster, in a condo not so far away, two board members – let’s call them Mildred and Blazer – staged a passionate protest.
Not about rising fees.
Not about legal overreach.
Not even about that mysterious $300,000 in legal costs no one will explain.
No, dear reader.
They were fighting for their right to waltz into the corporation office anytime they pleased.
You see, a modest little proposal had been brought forward:
Let’s regulate board access to the corporation office to protect confidential records, ensure accountability, and avoid the appearance of impropriety.
But Mildred and Blazer were outraged.
How dare anyone suggest limits on their divine authority?
“It’s not management’s office,” huffed Mildred, adjusting her reading glasses of righteousness.
“It’s our office,” added Blazer, pausing dramatically, as if quoting scripture.
Let’s be clear:
Regulating access isn’t about denying board members information.
It’s about protecting:
- Owner privacy
- Legal documents
- Financial integrity
- The manager’s ability to do their actual job without being micromanaged to death by clipboard warriors.
But for Mildred and Blazer, rules are for other people.
Why bother with a sign-in log when you can just show up unannounced and rifle through legal files like it’s a garage sale?
Why respect boundaries when you could peek at owner complaints or edit meeting minutes with no paper trail?
🧠Fun Fact:
Unrestricted access by directors can lead to:
- Data breaches
- Liability under privacy laws
- Destroyed evidence in ongoing legal disputes
- Conflict of interest (especially if certain directors are parties to a dispute)
But none of that fazed our champions of chaos.
“We need full access – for transparency,” Blazer declared, without a hint of irony.
🚪 So What Should a Real Board Do?
✔️ Implement a policy: Board access by appointment, with the manager present
✔️ Keep a log of who accessed what and why
✔️ Ensure access is equitable – no favourites
✔️ Protect sensitive materials (owner records, legal files, emails)
In other words: govern like grownups.
Meanwhile, back at our building…
The policy was tabled. Mildred rolled her eyes. Blazer stormed off to “draft his own policy,” which – spoiler alert – was just a sticky note that said “I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.”
And so the files remain vulnerable, the manager remains micromanaged, and owners remain blissfully unaware that their personal records are just a door badge swipe away from becoming boardroom gossip.
Remember:
If they say “It’s our office” –
What they really mean is:
“We don’t believe in oversight.”
️Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
