For years, Suemore & Billmore, the condo board’s beloved bulldog in a blazer, has perfected a little-known artform: coercive diplomacy, legal edition. They don’t argue they assert. They don’t discuss – they dictate. And most importantly, they count on residents backing down before the ink dries on their latest threat letter.
🧾 Chapter 1: The Playbook
Suemore’s strategy has three core tactics, all delivered with the smirk of someone who thinks quoting the Act makes him invincible:
- Overwhelm & Confuse: Flood them with rules, sections, footnotes, and case law that may or may not apply – who’s checking, right?
- Imply Consequences: Gently hint that “further action may be taken” – a favourite phrase that means absolutely nothing but sounds terrifying to normal people.
- Delay to Dissuade: When all else fails, run out the clock. Time, after all, is money – and you, dear owner, are paying both.
Sounds familiar?
And it works.
Usually.
👩‍⚖️ But Then… We Showed Up
Enter us: two residents with the audacity to:
- Read things before signing them
- Ask follow-up questions
- Understand the law (unforgivable)
- And worst of all: care about precedent and fairness beyond our own unit
We are the nightmare Suemore didn’t see coming:
Smart enough to spot the bullshit.
Persistent enough to outlast the nonsense.
Principled enough to keep going even when we win, because it’s not just about us – it’s about the system.
🧠Why We Refused to Submit?
Because we know that policy shaped in fear is no policy at all.
Because silence becomes permission – and we are not giving ours.
Because the next person might not have the time, the knowledge, or the energy to fight back – but if we carve the path, it will be there for them.
🏛️ Final Thought: When Threats Don’t Work, Try Ethics
To Suemore Billmore and his ilk:
Next time, try reasoning instead of steamrolling. You might find that some residents weren’t born to submit – they were born to set precedent.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
