Ah yes – the May 15 letter. The literary equivalent of someone yelling âYou started it!â while holding a smoking cannon.
If you havenât read it, congratulations – you still believe words have meaning.
This now-legendary piece of condo correspondence, issued on the official stationery of Denial & Deflection LLP (a.k.a. the Board), reads like a satirical novella co-authored by a gaslighter, a lawyer billing by the hour, and someone deeply allergic to court rulings.
Letâs break it down:
𧩠Chapter 1: “Weâre Not the Problem – You Are”
The letter begins by gently informing the community that nothing bad happened, except for that one resident who had the audacity to⊠exist?… have rights?… own a dog that wasnât invisible?
Having been ruled against twice – first by the Condominium Authority Tribunal, and then by the Ontario Divisional Court – the Board responded with its usual grace:
âLetâs pretend we won.â
đ Chapter 2: “Selective Transparency – The Greatest Hits”
The May 15 letter also showcases the Boardâs greatest skill: strategic omission.
Court rulings? Not relevant.
Findings of discrimination? Unmentioned.
Ongoing legal costs? You guessed it – âconfidential.â
But what is front and centre?
A robust retelling of events where the Board is the wise, longsuffering protagonist, and the resident – who, again, won in court – is recast as the antagonist in a plot loosely based on⊠absolutely nothing.
đŸ Chapter 3: “Share the Dog, Solve the Problem”
Let us not forget the moment that will live in condo infamy:
âPerhaps the dog could be shared.â
Nothing says âwe understand disability rightsâ like treating a service animal like a crockpot at a potluck.
đ§Ÿ Epilogue: âIf We Say It, It Must Be Trueâ
In the end, the May 15 letter is less of a communication and more of a performance – part damage control, part alternate reality fan fiction, where the only thing more inflated than the narrative is the legal bill.
But hey – donât worry.
Theyâve assured you that theyâre acting âin the best interests of the community.â
You know, by ignoring rulings, inflaming conflict, and billing you for the pleasure.
đïž Coming Soon to a Mail Slot Near You:
âWe Lost Again, But Morally Weâre Winningâ – A Follow-Up by the Same Authors.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
