Or: Why It Takes a Condo Board 40+ Days to Produce What a Fortune 500 Company Does in 10
You know what’s adorable?
Watching our condo board act like they’re guarding the GDP of a small nation – when in fact, they’re managing a budget smaller than a Tim Hortons franchise. And yet, here we are, over two months after year-end, still waiting for the mystical, elusive Year-End Financials™ to be posted.
I work for a company with a $6 billion budget.
Six. Billion.
We close the books and report to the street within 10 days – audited, scrubbed, investor-ready.
Meanwhile, our condo board – managing what amounts to a community piggy bank and a line item for mulch – needs a quarter of a fiscal year to release a document so basic it could be printed on the back of a napkin.
🧠The Delay Is… What, Strategic?
What’s the holdup?
- Are the numbers being written in cuneiform?
- Is the accountant trapped in a time loop?
- Or perhaps the board is building suspense, like a Netflix series: “Next time on Condo Financials: Season 2024… the snow removal invoice is revealed!”
Spoiler: It’s $12,000. It’s always $12,000.
🏛️ This Isn’t Even a Battle You Can Win
Here’s the punchline:
Even if they refuse, the law says they still have to give them to us.
Yes, under the Condominium Act, records like financial statements must be provided upon request.
So this petty little game of “You can’t see it!” is not only childish – it’s legally doomed.
The only thing they’re accomplishing is:
- Delaying the inevitable
- Burning more of your money on legal fees
- And making themselves look like a cabal of nervous squirrels guarding stale acorns
🧮 This Isn’t Wall Street. It’s Blenvale.
We’re not managing pension funds, derivatives, or international assets.
We’re tracking:
- Hydro bills
- Hallway paint
- And the inexplicable line item for “Legal Advice About Basic Things We Should Already Know”
So why the drama?
Why the cloak and dagger?
Why the fiscal theatre?
Because when you have nothing real to govern, the appearance of complexity becomes your only currency.
🧾 Closing Line, Opening Records
The law will give me those numbers.
A CAT application will force them out, just like it has every other time I’ve asked.
And the rest of you – the owners – will get to pay for that trip to the Tribunal.
So ask yourself this:
Wouldn’t it be easier to just act like grownups and post the damn thing?
🎠Transparency: feared only by those with something to hide.
Visit www.CondoTribune.com – where facts come faster than your board’s spreadsheets.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
