Looking for a legal invoice? A few pages of meeting minutes? Maybe a glimpse of what your fees are actually paying for?
Fantastic – just head over to the Condo Records Bazaar, where transparency is negotiable, logic is optional, and redaction comes with a side of theatrics.
They’ll quote you $60/hour to black out two pages –
You push back, armed with CAT case law and actual precedent?
Suddenly it’s $30/hour, no explanation needed.
Just a shrug, a nod, and a deeply bureaucratic: “Fine.”
Because apparently, we’re not governed by the Condominium Act,
we’re governed by the rules of the Istanbul spice market.
Need legal compliance?
$60.
Ask a legal question?
$30.
Know your rights and cite the law?
Ah, you drive a hard bargain – let’s call it $25 and throw in a courtesy redaction of your own email.
What we have here, dear neighbours, is not a fee structure.
It’s a barter system for basic governance.
Transparency, but make it theatrical.
And the best part?
They act like they’re doing you a favour for following the law –
as if reducing an overcharge after you catch them is some kind of diplomatic triumph.
“We were going to charge you double what’s reasonable,
but since you spotted it…
well done, clever resident! Have a discount!”
No apology. No admission. Just a greasy smile and a revised invoice.
🎩 In conclusion:
Your condo board:
Pretending to be a government.
Behaving like a street vendor.
Charging like a boutique law firm.
Next time, bring a lawyer, and maybe a goat to trade.
Apparently, that’s still legal tender around here.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
