(Classic crystal ball vibes with a hint of condo hysteria.)
Apparently, during board meetings – those rare occasions where actual governance is supposed to happen – Mildred found a new hobby: talking about me.
Not governance.
Not the budget.
Not the mysterious legal black hole into which $300,000 vanished.
No – me.
My dog. My email tone. My mental state. My whereabouts. And most recently – my politics.
In one especially unhinged moment, she apparently declared:
“She probably is a Trump supporter.”
So, for Mildred’s benefit (and anyone else getting their news from conversations on the bench or forwarded WhatsApp conspiracies):
Let’s break this down:
🔹 I’m educated, Mildred. Not the kind of education you get from chain emails and Facebook groups, but the kind that requires actual reading and… what’s the word… thinking.
🔹 I’m well-read – not just bylaws (though I know those better than your lawyers), but actual books. By people like Orwell, not just people who misquote him.
🔹 I’ve lived under authoritarianism, and I assure you: I recognize the signs. Spoiler: they do include boards that silence dissent and invent wild personal attacks when challenged.
🔹I am well-travelled, not to all-inclusive resorts, but to places where fascism wasn’t a thought experiment – it was lived reality.
And I value democracy, human rights, science, and sanity.
So no, Mildred, I would no sooner support Trump than I would support you running a condo board with a functioning moral compass.
But the real question is:
Why are you discussing my imagined political leanings during a board meeting?
Did we run out of actual agenda items?
Did the budget balance itself?
Because you have no real defense for your actions?
Because it’s easier to launch personal attacks than to answer questions about illegal spending?
Because fearmongering distracts from your actual job?
Whatever the reason – it reeks of desperation. And ignorance.
So, here’s a novel idea for the next board meeting:
Talk about governance.
Talk about the budget.
Talk about the roof.
Talk about anything other than me.
Because until then, you’re not a board.
You’re just a circle of whispering hens, pretending it’s leadership.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
