Blazer Steals Flyers, Plays the Victim, and Charges the Community for His Meltdown
It was a quiet day in the building.
Birds chirped. Flyers were posted.
And then – like a moth to a flame or a blazer to unwarranted self-importance – he struck.
Blazer.
Yes, that Blazer.
Serial interrupter. Democracy enthusiast (when it suits him). Champion of rules (for everyone else).
He walked up to the community bulletin board and – brace yourselves – stole flyers.
Not skimmed.
Not borrowed.
Stole.
In broad daylight. With the confidence of a man who once read the Condominium Act’s table of contents and thought it made him a judge.
Naturally, someone called him out.
No slapping.
No pitchforks.
Just an adult telling another adult, “You took something that wasn’t yours.”
Which in Blazer’s world, apparently, is an act of war.
So what does he do?
Apologize?
Explain himself?
Return the flyers with a sheepish “my bad”?
No, no. That would require humility – or spine.
Instead, he called a lawyer.
Paid for by the owners, of course.
And had them issue a cease and desist letter.
Let’s pause for dramatic effect.
He stole flyers. Lied. Then charged you $500+ to say he felt “attacked.”
🧾 The Blazer Logic Flowchart
- Take flyers that aren’t yours
- Get caught
- Claim you’re the victim
- Lawyer up
- Send bill to everyone else
- Feel righteous
Repeat as needed. No shame required.
This wasn’t just embarrassing.
It was textbook weaponized insecurity.
A tantrum wrapped in legalese.
And you – dear neighbour – paid for it.
So next time your condo fees go up, remember:
It’s not just rising maintenance costs.
It’s Blazer’s ego protection plan™.
🧠Final Thought
If a grown man can’t handle being publicly called out for stealing paper, but can send a legal threat using your money to soothe his delicate pride…
Should he really be anywhere near your budget, your board, or your bulletin board?
Because at this point, even the flyers show more maturity.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
