Once upon a time in the lush hedges of Blenvale, there lived a lovely older resident – let’s call her Rose 🌹.
A kind woman, quiet, polite, and with a green thumb so magical the begonias practically curtsied when she walked by.
Gardening was her joy. Something she loved doing at her home before moving into our little kingdom of rules, contradictions, and… Mildred.
But one day, bam!
A messenger of doom – Mildred’s bestie, naturally – informed Rose that her gardening days should be over.
Why?
“If you get hurt out there, we will have to all pay! The corporation will be on the hook!”
Cue the terror. The trowel goes back in the shed. The pansies wither in protest. Rose retreats, lest her petunias bankrupt the building.
Fast forward six months…
🌼 Enter Mildred’s Bestie
Now suddenly the gardening rulebook is mulched and forgotten.
She’s out there daily, in the same garden, with the same risks…
And not a peep.
No lectures about liability.
No warnings about lawsuits.
No mention of the sacred insurance clause once waved like a holy relic.
Apparently, the flowers only pose a financial risk if you’re not in Mildred’s inner circle.
🌸 Blenvale’s Gardening Guidelines:
- Must love roses.
- Must be over 70.
- Must be pre-approved by the High Council of Hypocrisy.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
