🧠 Mental Health? Never Heard of Her.

Welcome to Blenvale: Proudly Stuck in 1904

Ah, Blenvale – where time stands still and understanding of mental illness stopped evolving somewhere between the invention of the lightbulb and the rise of phrenology.

While the rest of the 21st century talks about trauma, neurodivergence, and psychological safety, Blenvale’s leading thinkers still whisper behind closed doors:

“She says she has anxiety – but she walks just fine.”
“Depression? Must be because she’s suing.”
“Panic attacks? That’s just being dramatic.”
“Isn’t that all in her head?”

Yes. That’s literally what a mental illness is. It’s in the brain. That’s the point.

Blenvale remains a shining example of what happens when a community collectively decides that mental health is a fad invented by millennials – somewhere between avocado toast and Netflix.

📚 Science? No Thanks. We Have Gossip.

While judges, doctors, and entire universities acknowledge the disabling effects of anxiety disorders, Blenvale’s psychiatric experts – a retired dog groomer and a man who once met a therapist at a wedding – have concluded that mental illness is just an excuse to get out of doing chores and follow rules.

Need a support person for a hearing?

“That’s abuse of process!”

Request a break during oral argument due to a panic attack?

“She’s manipulating the system!”

Use notes because your brain short-circuits under stress?

“She’s clearly unwell and unstable!”

🏥 If It’s Not a Cast, It’s Not Real

Invisible disability? In Blenvale, if you’re not in a wheelchair or wrapped in gauze, you’re faking it. Limp, and you’re injured. Cry from trauma? Get over it.

Welcome to the Blenvale Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders:

PTSD: Personal Temperament Sensitivity Disorder
Panic Disorder: Probably Acting, Not Illness, Clearly
Anxiety: Attention Needing Xaggerated Individual Yearning (yes, they misspelled exaggerated. Consistently.)

🚪 The Stigma Lives Here

Mental illness in Blenvale is treated like a house centipede:

Unwelcome
Misunderstood
And apparently something to be screamed at and stamped out immediately

So while the world marches toward inclusion, Blenvale double-knots its corsets and clutches its pearls.

But please – keep telling me I don’t belong. You’ve been wrong about everything else so far. Why stop now?

Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.

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