By Condo Tribune Staff
🌧️ Legal Fees: The Board’s “Act of God”
Our board would like you to believe that legal fees are like the weather – they just happen. No cause, no warning, just an unavoidable act of God.
“Ah yes,” they say, clutching their pearls, “we had to raid the reserve fund because of… legal fees.”
Legal fees! Those mysterious, free-floating invoices that simply appear on the boardroom table overnight, like crop circles or unsolicited Avon catalogues.
🧚 The Great Legal Fee Fairy
You see, in the board’s world, there’s a tiny creature – let’s call her Litigatia, the Legal Fee Fairy.
She tip-toes into the building in the dead of night, sprinkles powdered negligence over the corporation’s accounts, and — poof! – an $80,000 bill materializes.
Naturally, the board is just as shocked as you are.
“Why oh why do these legal fees keep turning up?” they cry,
as though the invoices weren’t directly attached to their own signatures.
đźš« Wrongdoing? Never Heard of It
In actual reality – which the board visits only on public holidays – legal fees don’t just emerge from the mist.
They are the love-child of maliciousness and incompetence.
Courts don’t award damages for being simply lovely people. They award damages because something went spectacularly wrong.
Something that involved our board making decisions that could generously be described as “legally disastrous” and less generously described as “a masterclass in self-inflicted harm.”
🌀 Their Logic, Such as It Is
According to the board’s thinking:
- We lost in court.
- This caused legal fees.
- Legal fees are bad luck, like stepping in gum.
- Therefore, you – dear owners – must now pay for our bad luck.
It’s as if someone crashed your car into a lamppost, then billed you for the tow truck, repair work, and emotional counselling for the lamppost.
🎠The Grand Distraction
So the next time they waggle their fingers and murmur “legal fees,” remember:
That’s not the root cause – that’s the symptom.
The root cause is whatever chain of questionable decisions, petty grudges, and ego trips got them hauled into court in the first place.
But yes, by all means, let’s all pretend the fees just blew in with the spring pollen.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
