By Condo Tribune Staff
😶 Shame? Never Heard of It
There’s a certain point where normal people, after doing something monumentally wrong, would at least pretend to feel shame. You know, for appearances.
But not our board. Oh no – they’ve transcended the mortal concept of shame. They’ve entered a rarefied league, where humiliation bounces off them like a cheap umbrella in a hurricane.
🎭 If They Were Anyone Else…
It’s like if Richard Nixon, instead of resigning over Watergate, had thrown himself a parade.
It’s like if Lance Armstrong, after admitting to years of doping, had announced a new sports drink line called “Steroid Splash.”
It’s like if Elizabeth Holmes, mid–Theranos implosion, started offering discounted blood tests from her garage.
💸 When You Lose, Pretend You Won
Most people, after burning through hundreds of thousands of dollars, losing in court, and being told their actions were unreasonable, might quietly slink away, maybe even – dare I say- apologize.
Our board? They’d sooner publish a glossy coffee-table book titled “How We Were Right All Along”, complete with staged photos of themselves “protecting the corporation” while shoveling money into a furnace.
🏆 Final Verdict
Shame is for amateurs. Here, in the penthouse suite of Delusional Self-Justification, there are only winners – and conveniently, they’re all on the board.
LIVE FROM THE BALLROOM: THE 2025 SHAMELESSNESS AWARDS
Hosted by the Condo Tribune
🏆 Lifetime Achievement in Unapologetic Arrogance
Mildred – For perfecting the art of the withering glare while explaining why wasting your money was actually “in your best interest.”
🏆 Best Costume in a Financial Tragedy
Blazer – delivering budget-busting decisions with the casual flair of someone ordering a side salad.
🏆 Outstanding Performance in Pretending You Won
The Entire Board – For standing in front of a smoldering pile of legal invoices, smiling like they just saved the building from a meteor strike.
🏆 People’s Choice Award for Most Likely to Repeat the Same Mistake
Also the Entire Board – Because if at first you don’t succeed… hire the same lawyer again.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
