Weāve been sold the idea that leaders must be ārelatableā – warm smiles, approachable personalities, and pleasant small talk.
Thatās fine for a coffee date. But itās a terrible standard for leadership.
The truth?
Many of the people who changed the course of history were prickly, abrasive, aloof, or socially awkward.
You wouldnāt necessarily want to sit next to them at dinner.
But youād definitely want them in charge when the stakes were high.
š£ Winston Churchill – The Bulldog Who Couldnāt Be Bothered With Your Feelings
Why he wasnāt relatable: Sharp-tongued, impatient, and fond of heavy drinking – even in wartime. Famously told Lady Astor, āIf you were my wife, Iād drink it,ā after she said sheād poison his tea.
How he changed the world: As Prime Minister during WWII, he refused to negotiate with Nazi Germany, rallied Britain during its darkest hours, and was instrumental in the Allied victory. His speeches – stubborn, defiant, unyielding – gave a battered nation the will to resist.
š£ Margaret Thatcher – The Iron Lady Who Did Not Bend
Why she wasnāt relatable: Uncompromising to the point of alienating colleagues, dismissive of āsoftā politics, and famous for saying, āThis ladyās not for turningā when urged to back down.
How she changed the world: As the UKās first female Prime Minister, she restructured Britainās economy, took on powerful unions, and reasserted the countryās position on the world stage – including leading Britain to victory in the Falklands War.
š£ Steve Jobs – The Genius You Didnāt Invite to Lunch
Why he wasnāt relatable: Demanding to the point of cruelty, openly called ideas ābozo,ā and rejected years of work in minutes if it didnāt meet his standard. Employees said working for him was both inspiring and exhausting.
How he changed the world: Co-founded Apple, revolutionized personal computing, brought the iPod, iPhone, and iPad into existence, and reshaped entire industries from music to telecommunications to design.
š£ Marie Curie – Too Busy for Small Talk
Why she wasnāt relatable: Reserved, socially distant, and far more comfortable in a lab coat than at a dinner table. Once left a banquet held in her honor early to return to her research.
How she changed the world: Pioneered research in radioactivity, discovered polonium and radium, and became the first person to win two Nobel Prizes in different sciences (Physics and Chemistry). Her work paved the way for cancer treatments and nuclear medicine.
š£ Nikola Tesla – Brilliant and Eccentric
Why he wasnāt relatable: Avoided physical contact, had obsessive-compulsive habits, insisted on dining only at certain restaurants with specific waiters, and openly expressed disdain for overweight people – refusing to work with them and claiming it reflected a lack of discipline. He also calculated the cubic volume of every bite of food before eating it.
How he changed the world: Developed alternating current (AC) electricity, invented the induction motor, and laid the groundwork for wireless communication – contributions that power much of the modern world.
The Lesson:
If history teaches us anything, itās that you donāt have to like someone for them to be an extraordinary leader or innovator.
Relatability is a luxury; competence is a necessity.
The people who transform the world are often the least likely to win a popularity contest – and thatās exactly why they get things done.
And thatās the irony: history is full of people who werenāt warm, charming, or āeasy to get along withā – but who accomplished extraordinary things. Our board manages the opposite. Theyāve nailed the ārelatableā part with gossip and small talk, but when it comes to delivering lasting, competent results, the record speaks for itself – and itās mostly invoices.
