Poor Blazer.
Perpetually confused. Perpetually squinting at me like I’m hiding the Rosetta Stone of Condo Satire under my bed.
🕵️ “Where Does She Even Get These Ideas?”
Oh, Blazer. Sweet, clueless Blazer.
It’s not witchcraft. I’m not consulting a secret network of underground satirists. I don’t have a squirrel whispering inspiration into my ear at night.
I just… look around.
🔍 Step 1: Observe Board Behaviour
- Half-finished projects with no cost disclosures? Check.
- “Transparency” newsletters that omit all relevant facts? Check.
- Financials that look like they were prepared by a magician who loves disappearing acts. Check.
Congratulations, Blazer – that’s three blog posts before lunch.
đź“š Step 2: Apply Memory
You see, Blazer, I remember things. Like timelines. Like what you said at the AGM last year and how it contradicts what you’re saying now.
If you could connect those dots without a board meeting to approve it, you’d be dangerous.
🎯 Step 3: Add a Pinch of Sarcasm
It’s really just seasoning, Blazer. You provide the raw meat – your actions, your omissions, your gaffes, your incompetence. I marinate it in facts, roast it over the fire of my keyboard, and serve it to the community hot.
✍️ Some People Are Just Better Than Others… at Blogging
At one point, Blazer even said to someone: “I know how long these posts take. I have my own blog.” How can she write so many? Some people are just better at blogging.
So don’t worry, Blazer – I’m not running out of material. Not as long as you and your friends keep supplying it for free.
🎯 Better How?
- Better at spotting a story hiding in plain sight – like a missing pane of glass in a “completed” window project.
- Better at turning a dull AGM recap into a piece so sharp it could cut through a board meeting’s fog of vagueness.
- Better at weaving sarcasm into facts so tightly you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins.
🧩 It’s Not Magic – It’s Method
The secret recipe?
- Observe.
- Remember.
- Write it so well they wish you’d forget.
This isn’t about “creative fiction.” It’s about making reality impossible to ignore – and adding just enough sting that they remember it, too.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
