Some boards manage buildings.
Ours manages disasters.
If there were an Olympics for Incompetence, this board would take home gold, silver, and bronze – then misplace the medals and hire a lawyer to explain why it was your fault.
🪑 Step One: Can’t Chair a Meeting, But Can Manage Millions
Watching this board run a meeting is like watching a toddler drive a bus – terrifying, confusing, and somehow legal.
- Agenda? Optional.
- Rules? What rules?
- Logic? Never met her.
And yet, these are the same people who confidently approve million-dollar budgets, negotiate multi-year contracts, and gamble with your reserve fund like it’s Monopoly money.
Only difference? In Monopoly, someone usually knows the rules.
📊 Step Two: Debits, Credits… Potato, Potahto
Ever watch someone stare at a balance sheet like it’s written in ancient hieroglyphics?
That’s our board.
Ask them to explain:
- Reserve fund projections?
- Operating deficits?
- Why we’re paying lawyers more than contractors?
And you’ll get a 30-minute speech about “complex financial strategies” that somehow ends with you owing more money.
Spoiler: if you can’t tell a debit from a donut, you shouldn’t be running a corporation.
🥸 Step Three: Treat the Owners Like Morons
They think we’re clueless.
They think we won’t notice.
They assume we’ll happily write cheques while nodding politely.
But here’s the punchline: we do notice.
- We read the budgets.
- We study the balance sheets.
- We know exactly how many zeroes are missing from the truth.
We’re not the morons they think we are.
We understand the math.
And oh, how we enjoy watching them pretend we don’t.
🛑 Step Four: Spin, Distract, Repeat
Every time you question a decision, you’re met with:
“We’re acting in your best interest.”
Right. And I’m the Queen of England. 👑
The pattern is simple:
- Make bad decisions
- Hide the receipts
- Blame the “complexity of condo governance”
- Schedule another meeting with a lawyer you didn’t approve
🚨 Final Verdict
A board that:
- Can’t run a meeting 🪑
- Can’t read a balance sheet 📉
- Can’t tell the truth 🧾
- But thinks it can manage millions đź’¸
…isn’t just incompetent – it’s dangerous.
We see you.
We understand the numbers.
And we’re done playing along.
Wake up. Vote them out.
And if they won’t leave?
Don’t worry – courts love a good comedy. ⚖️
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
