🚪 Scene One: The Great Exit
The UPS guy, two ridiculously friendly dogs, and myself stepping out of the elevator. Destination: a walk, not an overnight slumber party inside the lift.
But lo and behold! Right outside the doors, like a gatekeeper of domestic inconvenience, stood She of the Sacred Laundry Basket. Planted directly in front of the exit, basket extended like some kind of plastic barricade.
🧺 The Laundry Blockade
Now, elevators are famously designed for one purpose: people (and dogs, and packages) to get out.
Yet somehow, our grand emergence was treated like an unholy intrusion.
As we passed – carefully navigating basket, hound tails, and fragile human toes – she gasped in divine distress.
✝️ The Divine Outburst
“JESUS!”
Not in prayer.
Not in song.
Not even in vain.
But as if to say:
“How dare these peasants leave the elevator while I, Laundry Queen of the Hallway, stake my claim to this two-foot stretch of tile?”
🐕 The Radical Concept
Sorry, Madam Basket-Wrangler, but no, we did not come to sprout wings and ascend over your hamper blockade. We had to walk out.
Radical concept, I know.
🌟 The Moral of the Basket
Next time, perhaps consider the miracle of stepping two feet to the left before summoning the Son of God.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
