October 8, 2025
Mark your calendars, polish your pearls, and iron your bylaws – the condo’s social event of the year is almost here! The Annual Gaslighting Gala will soon light up the community hall with denial, deflection, and a dash of disdain.
đź‘— Red Carpet Predictions
Industry insiders are already buzzing about the looks we’ll see this year:
- Mildred is rumoured to be wearing a gown made entirely of shredded meeting minutes. Sustainable and evasive.
- Blazer is said to be sporting a bespoke suit stitched from unenforced rules – asymmetry is the theme, naturally.
- Lady Gwendolyn is expected to carry the hottest accessory of the season: a handbag stuffed with redacted invoices.
🎤 Anticipated Speeches
Word has it the Board’s acceptance speech has already been rehearsed:
“We’ve done nothing wrong. Ever. In fact, the mere suggestion is harassment. Please sit down.”
Rumour also suggests applause will be carefully timed – three seconds per owner, with lawyers clapping indefinitely.
🏆 Award Categories to Watch
This year’s nominees promise fierce competition:
- Lifetime Achievement in Obstruction
- Best Special Effects (for making $300,000 in legal fees disappear)
- Best Supporting Actress (Daphne Nothingshire, reprising her role in “It’s Not the Law to Have Online Portals”)
🍾 The Afterparty (Rumoured Menu)
Reserve-fund-financed champagne towers. Hors d’oeuvres of excuses. And, of course, the signature cocktail:
One part confusion, two parts deflection, garnished with a slice of contempt.
đź’ˇ Final Teaser
The red carpet is being vacuumed, the black markers are freshly inked, and the stage lights are warming up. The only question is: will the owners bring popcorn, or just their patience?
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
