🪞 You Get the Board You Deserve

The Uncomfortable Mirror

Everyone loves to moan about “the board.” The incompetence, the arrogance. But let’s be brutally honest: boards don’t drop from the sky. They aren’t appointed by some royal decree. They’re elected – by you. By your neighbours. By people too lazy to read a budget but somehow willing to hand over control of millions in assets like it’s a lemonade stand.

You didn’t stumble into this mess. You built it. Brick by brick. Proxy by proxy. Cookie by cookie.

Democracy, Condo-Style 🎪

It’s not a democracy of competence, it’s a democracy of apathy.

Don’t like rising fees? You voted for the guy who promised “small increases” and then raised your fees by 16%.
Don’t like selective rule enforcement? You handed power to the lady who tsk-tsks about my service dog while her own tenant walks their dog without a leash every day.
Don’t like being sued with your own money? Too bad – you reelected the same crew because “at least they’re familiar faces.”

The Talent Pool 🐟

Let’s not pretend the candidates are paragons of virtue. The “talent” usually consists of:

The amateur tyrant who’s never been in charge of anything beyond their cat’s litter box.
The nostalgic busybody who thinks the building should be run like it was in 1973.
The penny-pinching accountant wannabe who can’t balance their own chequebook but loves waving numbers around like confetti.

And now, the latest addition: Blazer, who apparently believes his board position comes with a side hustle. We hear he’s offering his services to wash residents’ windows – for the low price of $80 a pop. Because nothing screams “conflict of interest” like a board member turning the building into his personal lemonade stand.

The Punchline

So yes, the board is awful. Yes, they waste money, bully owners, and parade around like emperors of asphalt and stucco. But the sad reality is this: they’re not an accident. They’re a reflection. A mirror of the owners who enable them.

Because in the end, you don’t just get the government you deserve. You get the board you deserve. And until you grow a spine, stop selling your vote for cookies, and actually demand better – you’ll keep living under a circus run by clowns. With Blazer on the ladder outside your balcony, waving an $80 invoice.

Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.

Condo Chronicles