Condo Chronicles

Once upon a time, there was a little wooden puppet named Pinocchio. Unlike the fairy tale, this one didn’t dream of being a real boy. Oh no – he dreamt of something far more thrilling: sitting on a condo board, mismanaging millions, and wagging his finger at owners while his nose grew longer with each meeting.

📜 The Fairy Tale of Transparency
Pinocchio promised transparency. “We’ll keep you informed!” he said, his nose already inching dangerously close to the minutes of the last board meeting. Strangely, the more “updates” he gave, the more confused the owners became. Financial statements delayed? Nose grows. Records withheld? Nose grows. Legal bills disguised as “community engagement”? Nose grows.

By the end of the townhall, his nose could reach Fort Knox.

💸 The Wish Upon a Star (That Cost $3 Million)
Instead of wishing to become a real boy, our Pinocchio wished upon a star for…a loan. A loan so big it made Jiminy Cricket faint. When owners asked, “Do we get a say in this?” Pinocchio smiled sweetly and chirped:

“Oh, it’s perfectly normal. Every corporation does it.”

Nose shoots across the room, nearly knocking over the projector.

🐟 Pleasure Island for the Board
You remember how the real Pinocchio ran off to Pleasure Island where bad boys could indulge? Well, our condo Pinocchio built his very own Pleasure Island: secret meetings, endless lawyer toys, and contractors lining up with candy-coloured quotes. Instead of donkeys, we owners are left carrying the load.

🎭 Puppet Show Democracy
At the AGM, Pinocchio assured us:

“This is democracy in action!”

And yet – every puppet on stage had its strings pulled by the same hand. The votes were counted, the motions scripted, and the Jiminy Crickets in the crowd were told to sit down and hush.

Nose grows so far it pokes through the neighbour’s balcony.

🏚️ The Moral of the Story
In the original fairy tale, Pinocchio eventually learns to tell the truth. In ours, the board’s nose is now long enough to be rezoned as a common element.
And the moral? If you keep electing puppets, don’t be surprised when the strings are pulled tight around your wallet.

Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.