📜 A Blenvale Parable by CondoTribune Satire Desk
(or what happens when Mildred meets her voters)
🎩 Act I – The Art of Disappearing Funds
Once upon a fiscal year, long, long overdue for an audit,
Mildred the Magnificent discovered a secret talent –
she could make transparency vanish faster than you can say “Where’s the reserve fund transfer?”
With a flick of her signature pen and a shrug,
she turned legal invoices into “confidential matters,”
and overdrafts into “temporary liquidity transitions.”
Beside her stood Blazer,
defending her like a loyal court jester:
“It’s not an overdraft – it’s an accounting illusion!”
And in the corner, Lady Gwendolyn, nodded wisely – not because she understood, but because she had already stopped listening three meetings ago.
🤡 Act II – Enter the Fools
Then came the audience – the Blenvale Chorus of Compliance.
They clapped politely,
grateful that someone else was “taking care of things.”
They nodded through budget slides like a herd of bobbleheads.
One even whispered, “They’re doing their best,”
as the thief walked away jingling the keys to the reserve account.
It’s not that they didn’t care – it’s that caring required thinking.
And thinking, dear reader, has been out of fashion at Blenvale since 2019.
💃 Act III – The Dance of Delusion
So the thief met the fool – and the music began.
The thief spun stories.
The fool spun excuses.
Together, they waltzed across financial statements,
trampling truth in perfect synchrony.
And when the wise tried to interrupt the dance – they were called “disruptive.”
When they pointed to the missing numbers –
they were accused of “negativity.”
🪞 Moral of the Parable
At Blenvale, every thief needs a fool –
and every fool needs a thief to make them feel important.
One signs, the other smiles.
One lies, the other likes the post.
And together, they make a community proud – of how little it takes to fool so many.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
