A Mockumentary on Lost Transparency
🎙️ “From the ruins of Blenvale, a civilization that valued secrecy above sunlight.”
🏺 Archaeological Discovery
In the year 3025, a team of archaeologists unearthed a peculiar set of stone tablets in what was once the Blenvale Condominium Corporation.
The artifacts were labeled “Meeting Minutes – Confidential.”
Despite the name, no actual minutes were found – only fragments of circular reasoning and faint traces of passive aggression.
“The scribes of the Blenvale tribe gathered in 2025 to discuss transparency. None was found.”
— Ancient Condo Proverb
📜 Decoded Fragments from the Tablets
- “Motion to defer all motions until the next meeting.”
- “Financials to be shared never.”
- “Meeting adjourned once questions began.”
Experts believe these fragments represent an early form of bureaucratic poetry known as Excusian Verse.
🧩 Historical Context
The Blenvale civilization appears to have been led by a council of elders known collectively as The Board, assisted by a mystical figure called The Property Manager.
Their religion centered on two sacred texts:
- The Reserve Fund Study (which no one read)
- The Lawyer’s Invoice (which everyone paid)
Transparency was considered heresy, punishable by committee vote.
🔍 Archaeologists’ Findings
Dr. Penelope Factfinder from the University of Accountability commented:
“We found over 400 references to ‘confidentiality’ and only two to ‘owners.’ One of those was scratched out.”
Another scholar added:
“The Blenvaleans appear to have measured time not in months, but in pending litigations.”
🕯️ Cultural Artifacts Recovered
- A ceremonial “AGM ballot” with no candidates listed.
- A scroll labeled ‘Legal Opinion’– actually just an invoice.
- A miniature model of a reserve fund, empty but beautifully maintained.
- A preserved binder marked ‘Noise Complaints’ – completely blank.
🏛️ Conclusion
Historians now agree: Blenvale fell not from external invasion, but from internal confusion.
Its leaders perfected the ancient art of appearing to govern while accomplishing nothing.
Their final recorded phrase, carved in 9-point font, reads:
“All in favor? Carried unanimously.”
⚱️ Epilogue
“Future generations must study Blenvale carefully – not to learn how to govern, but how to pretend you are.”
— Professor Common Sense, Department of Lost Causes
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
