A mockery of law, logic, and literacy – inspired by real events
Once upon a condo, the board decided that democracy was just too… messy.
Too many owners asking questions. Too many “rights.” Too much “Act this” and “Section that.”
So, in the grand spirit of King Jo Mun Korea, they unveiled their newest masterpiece:
📜 The Code of Unethics and Anti-Owner Conduct Bylaw
Drafted in secret chambers, stamped with delusion, and blessed by their favourite lawyer-prophet (the same ones who cost us 300,000 dollars) this revolutionary document seeks to abolish the Condominium Act through creative wishful thinking.
🧠 Article 1: Thou Shalt Not Sue the Crown
Owners who dare to challenge the regime – even through legal channels – shall be branded as “disqualified,” “disruptive,” and “dishonourable.”
Because why let the Ontario Legislature decide who can run for the board when Mildred the Magnificent can just scribble her own law in a basement meeting?
(Spoiler alert: the Condominium Act doesn’t allow this, but neither does basic comprehension.)
🤐 Article 2: Free Speech Requires Pre-Approval
No more blog posts, flyers, or questions that “offend the dignity of management.”
Translation: If you call out incompetence, you’re “harassing.”
If you request records, you’re “intimidating.”
If you quote the Act, you’re “creating division.”
It’s the first time in history someone tried to outlaw transparency by calling it uncivil.
💰 Article 3: Financial Misconduct? Just Add a Clause!
Under the new royal decree, anyone who “damages the reputation of the board” can be punished.
Not for lying – but for telling the truth too loudly.
Meanwhile, $300,000 in legal fees mysteriously vanishes into the royal treasury, and the peasants (a.k.a. owners) are told to “respect the process.”
🏛️ Article 4: The Act Is Dead. Long Live the Bylaw!
Section 29 of the Condominium Act? Never heard of it.
Section 37 on director duties? Optional reading.
Section 56 limiting bylaw powers? How adorable.
Why respect provincial law when you can just write your own on company letterhead?
The board now fancies itself a miniature Parliament – except without oversight, education, or reality checks.
🪞 Moral of the Madness
When a board tries to criminalize criticism, disqualify dissenters, and legislate morality – you’re not living in a condominium anymore.
You’re living in a Condo Dictatorship.
But here’s the beauty of democracy they forgot:
No fake bylaw can override a real ballot.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
