“Democracy is nice – until someone uses it.”
đź‘‘ Act I: The Emergency Meeting of the Blenvale Empire
It was a dark and stormy AGM.
The kind of night when democracy hides behind a stack of proxies.
King Blazer slammed his gavel.
“The peasants are restless,” he hissed. “Some even dare to ask questions about finances!”
“Unthinkable,” said Mildredflexing her sense of self-importance.
“They must be stopped before they start quoting the Condominium Act again!”
Lady Gwendolyn gasped, clutching her pearls of denial.
“Quick! Let’s pass a new by-law that disqualifies anyone who’s ever sued us, challenged us, or thought about transparency!”
“Splendid!” declared Dame Millicent of the Management Contract.
“We’ll call it a reform! The owners will never notice – they’re still decoding last year’s budget pie chart.”
đź“ś Act II: The Text of the Great By-law (Approximate Translation)
Article I:
Any owner who has ever asserted their rights under the Condominium Act, the Human Rights Code, or basic human decency shall be deemed unfit to serve.
Article II:
Ethics, transparency, and democracy shall hereby be redefined as “personal attacks.”
Article III:
Owners may vote for directors of their choice –
unless those directors have a history of asking inconvenient questions.
Article IV:
Special assessments shall henceforth be referred to as “Character Building Exercises.”
Article V:
This By-law shall remain in force until the next lawsuit – which will begin in approximately three business days.
The Board voted unanimously, congratulated itself on its bravery, and adjourned to the lobby to admire their reflections in the glass doors they forgot to replace.
đź’° Act III: The Math of Madness
A single owner whispered, “But… isn’t this illegal?”
To which King Blazer replied,
“Illegality is such a subjective concept.”
Mildred added, “Besides, if we lose in court again, it’s not our money.”
She winked. The Reserve Fund whimpered in the distance.
“Remember,” said Lady Gwendolyn, “every lawsuit is an opportunity for personal growth – for our lawyers.”
⚖️ Act IV: The Judgment of Time
When the dust settles and the court orders another costs award, the owners will look around and wonder how the Board that promised ethics delivered only invoices.
They’ll realize that every “rule” they passed was never about governance – it was about revenge dressed as regulation.
They’ll complain about the special assessment.
They’ll call it unfair.
And then someone will remind them:
“You voted for them.”
đź”” Final Proclamation:
Hear ye, hear ye
Let it be known that the true purpose of the Blenvale By-law was not to preserve ethics, democracy, or order.
It was to ensure that anyone who ever challenged the Board must pay for the privilege of being right.
🧠Moral of the Condo:
When leaders fear accountability more than failure,
they will outlaw integrity to protect themselves.
And when the owners vote them back in,
they’ll deserve the bill that follows.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
