Because Sometimes You Just Have to Hold Up a Mirror
Every community has that neighbour.
You know the type: they emerge from their unit like a startled raccoon, clutching their indignation, ready to deliver a monologue about “good faith” and “respect for neighbours” – usually moments before posting their third comment accusing you of running a “syndicated humour column.”
And honestly?
I’ve seen raccoons handle their business with more emotional intelligence.
🪦 The Ancient Fear of AI: A Study in Fossil Behaviour
So let’s talk about our new favourite character:
The person who proudly announced on my blog that they would have voted for me,
but tragically could not,
because my candidate package had – brace yourself –
competent writing.
Apparently, good writing is now proof of artificial intelligence.
Imagine living in such a bleak inner world.
Meanwhile, in the actual year 2025, I’m busy designing and delivering AI training sessions for about 400 employees at Canada’s largest software company.
I know, I know – some people are intimidated by progress.
Some people hide.
Some people write trilogies in blog comments.
We all cope differently.
🧠Signs Someone Is Already Left Behind by Technology
Let’s conduct a quick diagnostic.
If someone:
- uses phrases like “good faith” as though they’d just discovered them
- gets offended by humour, irony, colour, punctuation, and anything with personality
- believes that “AI helped” = “I can no longer vote for you”
- writes three emotional essays in a row on someone else’s blog
- thinks door-tampering conspiracies are a normal Tuesday thought
…then yes, we are witnessing the early symptoms of AI-era obsolescence.
And I don’t even need ChatGPT to tell me that.
🏫 Free Education for the Technologically Terrified
But fear not, dear time traveller.
Help is available.
Since I’m literally training hundreds of people to modernize,
I can probably spare one more seat – just for you.
You know, so you don’t have to continue hyperventilating every time someone uses a tool invented after 1998.
Send me a message.
I’ll even walk you through what AI is.
(Spoiler: it’s not sorcery.)
🎤 Final Note: This Is Not Satire
Actually, wait – it is.
But I promise you this:
If my writing style bothers you so much that you post multi-chapter critiques of my personality,
I must be doing something right.
Progress terrifies the stagnant.
And nothing exposes a fragile ego faster than a neighbour who’s just now discovering that technology exists.
Stay tuned.
I’m sure Episode 4 of their saga is coming soon.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
