(A Completely Modest, Totally Humble, 100% Sarcastic Campaign Message)
Dear Neighbours,
Let’s be honest:
Our condo has seen some wild decision-making over the years. We’ve had mystery financials, rules that appear from thin air, audits that read like crime thrillers, and of course – the classic: “We know best, don’t ask questions.”
So yes, obviously the logical thing to do now is to vote for me.
Why? Allow me to exaggerate shamelessly:
🧠1. Because Apparently I’m the Only One Who Can Read an Audit
Shocking, I know.
But someone has to be able to point at a problem and say,
“Hey, this is illegal,”
without being accused of sorcery.
🔍 2. I Ask Questions
Dangerous habit.
Very disruptive.
Highly frowned upon in certain circles.
If elected, I promise to continue asking outrageous questions like:
- “Where did the money go?”
- “Why wasn’t this disclosed?”
- “Who approved this?”
- “Is this legal?”
- “Do you know owners exist?”
Brace yourselves.
🔦 3. I Believe in This Old-Fashioned Concept Called Transparency
I know, I know – radical.
Next thing you know, I might even insist that notices be sent on time and that owners be told the truth.
Unthinkable.
🏛️ 4. I Actually Read the Condominium Act
Yes, voluntarily.
No, I’m not seeking treatment.
Yes, it explains a lot about why things are currently on fire.
đź’Ľ 5. I Have a Real Job, in a Real Company, in the Real World
Where accountability is not just a myth.
Where budgets have to balance.
Where ignoring a problem doesn’t make it disappear (shocking).
Maybe bringing a bit of that real-world discipline to our condo wouldn’t be the worst idea.
🎠6. And Finally – You Already Know I’ll Call Out the Nonsense
Diplomatically?
Sometimes.
Sarcastically?
Often.
Accurately?
Always.
💬 In All Seriousness…
You deserve a board that tells you the truth, respects your money, and treats owners like actual human beings – not inconveniences.
If you want a condo corporation run like a real organization, not a soap opera…
If you want someone who reads, asks, checks, verifies, challenges, understands and protects…
…then yes, you should vote for me.
But hey – it’s your call.
I’ll keep fighting for this place regardless.
Claudia
