Because nothing says “good governance” like inventing a law to muzzle one owner.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer creative genius of our current board. Most condos have bylaws about pets, smoking, parking, renovations…
We?
We have a by-law about a single human being.

Introducing:

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🎭 By-law 14 – The “Claudia Containment Protocol”

For educational purposes (and for future historians trying to understand how a board collectively lost the plot), here’s a summary:

“No Owner shall communicate, petition, email, ask questions, point out mismanagement, request receipts, clarify inconsistencies, breathe too loudly, or otherwise exist in a manner that causes the Board mild discomfort.”

Groundbreaking stuff. Really.

The Romans had the Twelve Tables.
England had the Magna Carta.
America had the Bill of Rights.

Blenvale has By-law 14.
A world first: a personalized by-law written as revenge because one owner dared ask, “Why is the corporation breaking the law?”
Courageous leadership.

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📚 Famous By-laws in History

(For comparison. Because we need context to appreciate greatness.)

🏛️ By-law I – Socrates Must Stop Asking Annoying Questions (399 BC)

“No citizen shall question authority to the point of making the ruling class sweat from the forehead.”

Socrates violated it immediately.
We all know how that ended. Spoiler: poorly.

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🎨 By-law 2 – Leonardo da Vinci Shall Not Sketch Infrastructure Weaknesses (1499)

“Absolutely forbidden: pointing out structural cracks, hydraulic failures, or bizarre engineering choices.”

Leonardo violated it within hours.
Boards back then also hated transparency, apparently.

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🇫🇷 By-law 3 – Marie Antoinette Shall Ignore Bread Prices (1788)

“Any commentary on financial mismanagement shall be punishable by public eye-rolling.”

She complied.
Outcome: suboptimal.

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💼 By-law 4 – Steve Jobs Shall Not Demand Better Design (1980)

“Repeatedly pointing out flaws is hereby banned. It makes everyone uncomfortable.”

He ignored it.
Outcome: iPhone.

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🧹 And Now… By-law 14 – Claudia Shall Not Notice Anything Ever Again (2025)

In the heroic tradition of insecure leaders worldwide, our board crafted a by-law that essentially says:

“Claudia, please stop revealing our mistakes. It’s rude.”

To which I reply, politely but firmly:

“If you didn’t want people noticing the mess, perhaps don’t create the mess.”

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🔥 Why It’s Absurd

1️⃣ It’s illegal.

Ontario law bans retaliation.
They wrote a retaliation by-law.
That’s like drafting a “No Speeding While Speeding” rule.

2️⃣ It targets one person.

Public bodies can’t do that.
Boards can’t do that.

3️⃣ It’s embarrassing.

Imagine explaining this at a condo conference:

“Yes, yes, our biggest issue was one lady who asked too many questions, so we passed a law banning her.”

Peak professionalism.

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🏆 Award Category: Most Insecure By-law of the Century

The competition was tough:

• “No resident shall use the gym unless wearing colours approved by the board.”
• “Owners must smile at management at all times.”
• “No one may speak during meetings unless their opinion is pre-approved in writing.”

But By-law 14 still won by landslide.

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🗳️ Moral of the Story

When a board is afraid of questions, transparency, or accountability, they don’t fix problems.

They fix the person who noticed.

And that is exactly why By-law 14 exists.

And exactly why it needs to be voted down.

Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.