Starring: The Board That Broke the Law and Still Wants Applause
Ladies and gentlemen, grab your popcorn.
Tonight’s feature presentation is brought to you by Blenvale’s own Board of Delusion, proudly performing:
“We Violated Section 93(2)… but Vote for Us Anyway!”
Because who needs financial integrity when you have confidence this unearned?
🤡 Act I: The Ignorance Olympics
Let’s recap the dazzling acrobatics:
- 🎯 Breach of Section 93(2) – a simple instruction: “Put the reserve money INTO the reserve fund.”
Our board: “Lol no.” - 🎯 Auditor refuses to confirm compliance – because even the professionals tapped out and said: “We cannot assure you they are following the Act.”
- 🎯 Overdrafted bank account – because why manage money when you can play financial roulette?
- 🎯 Public lies at the townhall – delivered with the confidence of people who assume the community can’t read.
And after all this?
They still parade around saying:
“Vote for us! We’re doing a great job!”
I haven’t seen denial this bold since Fyre Festival.
đź•ş Act II: The Standing Ovation They Think They Deserve
The sheer audacity is almost admirable. Almost.
They break the law.
They fail the audit.
They overdraft the account.
They mislead the community.
They ignore legal advice.
They blame owners.
And then…
They ask for your vote.
It’s like watching someone crash their car through your living room wall and then politely ask if they can borrow your keys to “try again.”
🎤 Act III: The “We’re Competent” Comedy Special
What really elevates this performance from tragedy to full-blown satire is their confidence.
The confidence to stand in front of a community and pretend nothing happened.
The confidence to call themselves “competent” after the auditor basically wrote them a report card that says:
“We recommend helmets.”
The confidence to ruin the finances, violate the law, and still say:
“Encore?”
This isn’t a board.
It’s a sketch comedy troupe that doesn’t know it’s a sketch comedy troupe.
🎟️ Finale: The Encore Nobody Asked For
Here’s what their campaign slogan might as well be:
“We broke Section 93(2), overdrafted your money, embarrassed the corporation, and lied about it.
Vote for us so we can continue the magic.”
If the community actually re-elects them, then congratulations – you’ve officially turned Blenvale into a reality show called:
“How Low Can Governance Go?”
Spoiler: Lower.
🗳️ Vote like your money depends on it – because it does.
Unless, of course, you enjoy paying for other people’s incompetence. In that case… grab a front-row seat.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
