A Tragedy, A Comedy, A Farce – All in One Sad Little Lobby
Ah, Blenvale.
God help us.
If Frank McCourt were alive, he’d take one look at last night and write a sequel to Angela’s Ashes, except he’d call it:
🎭 “Blenvale’s Braincells – A Memoir.”
Because what I witnessed wasn’t a meeting.
It was a wake.
A funeral for logic.
And the corpse was still warm.
🥔💀 THE POTATO PARABLE
My grandmother used to say:
“Only a fool digs up the same rotten potato and eats it again.”
But last night?
Blenvale didn’t just dig up the rotten potato – they seasoned it, plated it, garnished it with parsley, and voted unanimously to call it dinner.
A Michelin-star disaster.
🔥🚒 THE GREAT BLENVALE BONFIRE OF COMMON SENSE
I’ve seen some things in life, truly.
- 🧦 People drying laundry in the oven
- 🏃♂️ Men sprinting after buses already halfway down the street
- 🦝 Families proudly adopting “guard dogs” that were clearly raccoons
- 🧮 Accountants who count on their fingers and lose track at eight
But never – NEVER – have I seen people look at an audit that screams:
❗ “YOU ARE BROKE AND BREAKING THE LAW!” ❗
and respond with:
🙏 “Would the same people who caused it like another term?”
It’s like discovering your roof is on fire and handing the arsonist a gift card to Home Depot.
👵📺 THE ELDERLY VOTING BLOCK OF DOOM
And because the universe has a wicked sense of humor,
the meeting was held online.
Bless the seniors:
- “Is Claudia inside the tablet?”
- “The mute button says I’m muted, but I’m not mute!”
- “Where’s the vote? I only see my own face.”
A technologically engineered disenfranchisement masterpiece,
brought to you by the same people who swore –
with a straight face
🔥 “We did NOT borrow from the reserve fund,”
even though the auditor practically set the page on fire writing it.
💸🧻 THE GREAT CANADIAN MONEY-EATING MACHINE
This board couldn’t balance the budget of a lemonade stand,
yet somehow they’re in charge of ours.
We’re governed by the financial equivalent of:
- 💳 People who treat overdraft like a birthday bonus
- 🛒 Shoppers who buy 60 rolls of paper towels “just in case”
- 🪙 Uncles who invest in “future gold mines” behind the garage
Last night was not governance.
It was a charity event for incompetence.
🎭🤣 THE FINAL ACT: A COMMUNITY VOTES FOR ITS OWN MISERY
And in the grand crescendo of madness, the ballots came in.
📉 The same board was re-elected.
📉 The same people who drove us into insolvency.
📉 The same group who lied at the townhall.
📉 The same geniuses who passed an illegal by-law.
It’s not a condo corporation anymore.
It’s performance art.
The theme?
💔 Collective Self-Sabotage: A Love Story
– starring Blenvale, a community that keeps stepping on the same rake and acting surprised every single time.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
