…Except at Blenvale, where the dead king is somehow the new king.
🤦‍♀️ Welcome to Blenvale: Where Failure Gets Re-Elected
Most places replace their leaders when they run a corporation into the ground.
Most places see overdrafts, legal breaches in audits, reserve fund cannibalism, and massive liabilities and say:
“Alright, enough. Time for new leadership.”
But not here.
Not at Blenvale.
Not in our proud little banana monarchy.
Here, the king collapses on the throne…
📉 runs the place into insolvency…
⚖️ breaches the law…
💸 burns $400K+ on hopeless lawsuits…
📚 gets slammed with an audit that would embarrass a first-year accounting student…
…and the people shout joyfully:
“BRING HIM BACK!”
You couldn’t script a better tragedy.
🧟‍♂️ The Zombie Monarchy
At Blenvale, leadership doesn’t “change.”
It resurrects.
The same hands that steered us into the financial ditch have been handed the keys again —
except this time, they’re cheered on by the crowd like a returning hero.
Never mind the overdraft.
Never mind the breaches.
Never mind the lies.
Never mind the discriminatory by-law rammed through while people clapped like seals.
No – here, the dead king rises, shuffles back to the throne, and everyone pretends the stench isn’t there.
🎠A Satire So Perfect It Hurts
Honestly, if you pitched this plot to Netflix, they’d reject it for being too unrealistic.
But Blenvale?
Blenvale embraces the absurd with both arms.
The king is dead.
Long live the king.
Even if the king is the exact same king who bankrupted the kingdom in the first place.
⚔️ As for me? My crown is the law.
I don’t care how loud they clap for incompetence.
I don’t care how many people pretend this is “fine.”
The only throne that matters is the courtroom’s.
And that one doesn’t vote based on bingo nights or nostalgia.
I will protect my home, my rights, and my property value —
and no re-elected zombie king is going to stop that.
đź‘‘ Long live accountability.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
