🚗🔓 The Great Garage Mystery of December 13

Breaking news, dear neighbours.

Apparently, cars were broken into in our garage on December 13, 2025.

Did you know?
No?
Same. I accidentally heard a friend of our dear “President” talk about it.

But don’t worry – our dear President knew and broadcasted on Facebook. 🎩✨

🕵️‍♂️ How to Run a Condo Like a Spy Agency

In our building, information works on a top-secret clearance system.

President: ✅ informed
Board: ✅ presumably informed
Owners: ❌ absolutely not

Because why alarm the peasants when the crown is calm?

🤐 Silence Is Security, Right?

Now, some might think:

“Hey, if there are break-ins in the garage, maybe owners should know?”

Silly you.

Clearly, the best safety strategy is:

Say nothing
Do nothing
Hope burglars respect discretion

After all, thieves are famously considerate.

🛡️ Isn’t the Board Supposed to Keep Us Safe?

Ah yes – the classic line.

No, Boards are not the police.
No, they don’t guarantee safety.

But they are supposed to:

Act reasonably
Act in good faith
Tell owners when something materially affects their property

Crazy concept, I know.

Apparently, notifying owners about break-ins is now considered… optional.

🧠 If the President Knew…

Let’s pause here.

If the President knew:

management knew too

So the real question isn’t whether the Board knew.

It’s why the information stopped there.

Was it:

“Let’s not scare people”?
“Let’s not admit we have a security issue”?
“Let’s just hope no one notices”?

Bold strategy.

🚙 Dear Owners, Had You Known…

If owners had been informed, they could have:

Removed valuables
Parked differently
Been alert
Decided whether security is adequate

Instead, we got the deluxe package:
🎁 Ignorance with a side of risk

🏰 Welcome to the Condo Monarchy

In this system:

The Board governs
The President knows
Owners find out… eventually
Transparency is a special occasion

Trust is expected.
Information is rationed.

🎤 So Here’s the Question

Why were we not informed?

Not:

“Was it required?”
But:
Why was silence chosen?

Because silence wasn’t accidental.
It was a decision.

🧯 Final Thought

No one expects a crime-free garage.

But once you know there’s a problem,
choosing not to tell owners isn’t leadership.

It’s just keeping up appearances —
while hoping no one checks their car the next morning.

Stay safe out there, neighbours.
And remember:
If you didn’t hear about it, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. 😉

Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.

Condo Chronicles