Breaking news, dear neighbours.
Apparently, cars were broken into in our garage on December 13, 2025.
Did you know?
No?
Same. I accidentally heard a friend of our dear “President” talk about it.
But don’t worry – our dear President knew and broadcasted on Facebook. 🎩✨
🕵️♂️ How to Run a Condo Like a Spy Agency
In our building, information works on a top-secret clearance system.
- President: ✅ informed
- Board: ✅ presumably informed
- Owners: ❌ absolutely not
Because why alarm the peasants when the crown is calm?
🤐 Silence Is Security, Right?
Now, some might think:
“Hey, if there are break-ins in the garage, maybe owners should know?”
Silly you.
Clearly, the best safety strategy is:
- Say nothing
- Do nothing
- Hope burglars respect discretion
After all, thieves are famously considerate.
🛡️ Isn’t the Board Supposed to Keep Us Safe?
Ah yes – the classic line.
No, Boards are not the police.
No, they don’t guarantee safety.
But they are supposed to:
- Act reasonably
- Act in good faith
- Tell owners when something materially affects their property
Crazy concept, I know.
Apparently, notifying owners about break-ins is now considered… optional.
🧠 If the President Knew…
Let’s pause here.
If the President knew:
- management knew too
So the real question isn’t whether the Board knew.
It’s why the information stopped there.
Was it:
- “Let’s not scare people”?
- “Let’s not admit we have a security issue”?
- “Let’s just hope no one notices”?
Bold strategy.
🚙 Dear Owners, Had You Known…
If owners had been informed, they could have:
- Removed valuables
- Parked differently
- Been alert
- Decided whether security is adequate
Instead, we got the deluxe package:
🎁 Ignorance with a side of risk
🏰 Welcome to the Condo Monarchy
In this system:
- The Board governs
- The President knows
- Owners find out… eventually
- Transparency is a special occasion
Trust is expected.
Information is rationed.
🎤 So Here’s the Question
Why were we not informed?
Not:
- “Was it required?”
But: - Why was silence chosen?
Because silence wasn’t accidental.
It was a decision.
🧯 Final Thought
No one expects a crime-free garage.
But once you know there’s a problem,
choosing not to tell owners isn’t leadership.
It’s just keeping up appearances —
while hoping no one checks their car the next morning.
Stay safe out there, neighbours.
And remember:
If you didn’t hear about it, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. 😉
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
