There’s a special species roaming condo boardrooms across Ontario.
Not qualified.
Not trained.
Not curious.
But deeply, spiritually power hungry.
You’ve seen them.
They can’t read a balance sheet without blinking twice…
But suddenly they’re guardians of a multi-million-dollar corporation.
🥄 Nutritionally Deficient in Facts
These are people who:
- Think “fiduciary duty” is a brand of olive oil
- Believe reserve fund studies are optional bedtime reading
- Use the word “quorum” like it might be contagious
Ask them to explain Section anything and they’ll squint and say:
“We’ve consulted counsel.”
Translation:
They googled something aggressively.
đź‘‘ The Power Fantasy Starter Pack
No board experience.
No governance training.
No financial literacy.
But give them a lanyard and suddenly they’re:
- Napoleon of the Parking Garage
- Caesar of the Elevators
- Supreme Commander of the Bylaws
Nothing fuels ego like a motion that carries.
Nothing replaces competence faster than a gavel.
🎨 The “Career” Backstory
Former résumé highlights include:
- “Emerging Artist” (two paintings sold, one to an aunt)
- “Operations Assistant” (ordered printer paper)
- “Consultant” (PowerPoint with no clients)
But today?
They interrogate engineers.
Override professionals.
Weaponize procedural rules.
All without the burden of understanding any of it.
Incredible confidence.
Zero calibration.
📉 Knowledge Starvation Syndrome
You’ll notice the symptoms:
- Overconfidence in areas they’ve never studied
- Hostility toward anyone who has
- Suspicion of transparency
- Deep discomfort when actual experts speak
They don’t lack intelligence.
They lack discipline.
And discipline is the one thing power cannot fake.
🔥 The Insecurity Engine
The most power-hungry people are often the least tested.
Never accountable for real deadlines.
Never responsible for real liability.
Never evaluated by people who outrank them.
Then suddenly – boom.
They control budgets larger than their lifetime earnings.
You can almost hear the internal monologue:
“This is my moment.”
Yes.
It is.
And everyone can see it.
🪑 The Folding Chair Throne
A condo board seat is not a crown.
But to the knowledge-starved and authority-deprived, it feels like destiny.
They mistake:
- Silence for respect
- Fear for compliance
- Legal letters for leadership
It’s not governance.
It’s cosplay.
🎠The Tragedy of Small Power
History has taught us this repeatedly:
The most dangerous authority is small authority in insecure hands.
Not world dictators.
Parking garage dictators.
Noise complaint tyrants.
Architectural guideline autocrats.
Petty kingdoms.
Very loud rulers.
Very thin résumés.
📢 A Message to the Power-Starved
If transparency terrifies you…
If accountability feels like attack…
If expertise sounds threatening…
It might not be the owners who are the problem.
It might be the fact that the throne is wobbling.
And this time?
The audience is awake.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
