Every institution has traditions.
Some have traditions of excellence.
Some have traditions of leadership.
And then there is our building, which has developed a remarkably consistent tradition of questionable presidencies.
Let’s take a short historical tour.
🐕 The Bite Barker Era
(The Age of Intimidation)
First came Bite Barker.
Bite Barker believed strongly in the philosophy that leadership is best expressed through:
⚡ harassment
⚡ intimidation
⚡ and the occasional attempt to scare residents into silence
A bold governance strategy, if one defines governance as “behaving like the loudest person in the room.”
The legacy of Bite Barker was simple:
🏢 The presidency is a tool.
🔨 Use it to bully.
🪑 The Mildred Period
(The Age of Gossip)
Then came Mildred.
Mildred refined the office of president by introducing a new leadership technique:
🗣 Talking about residents during board meetings.
Not solving problems.
Not improving governance.
Just good old-fashioned trash-talk.
A remarkable innovation in condominium management.
🤥 The Blazer Administration
(The Age of Creative Storytelling)
Today we enjoy the presidency of Balzer, who has continued this proud tradition.
Balzer’s specialty appears to be:
📢 spreading misinformation around the building
📢 confidently contradicting three legal rulings
📢 rebranding a service dog as “just an emotional support animal”
A bold move in the field of alternative facts.
🧬 The Institutional Tradition
When you look at the history of the presidency here, a pattern emerges.
The role seems to attract individuals with a very specific leadership style:
🎯 intimidation
🎯 gossip
🎯 misinformation
Which raises an interesting question.
🤔 But Remember…
As the board kindly explained:
“These are titles only.”
There is no special privilege attached to being president.
So technically…
This long parade of leadership excellence has been carried out by people holding a role that apparently means nothing at all.
📚 Governance Lesson
Some buildings elect presidents.
Our building appears to run a historical reenactment of increasingly creative ways to misuse a meaningless title.
A fascinating tradition.
And apparently one we are committed to preserving.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
