📢 Gather around, residents.
The pRESIDENT has spoken.
And what wisdom have we been gifted?
👉 “The decision to part ways with Sanderson was mutual.”
Ah yes.
That timeless phrase.
That elegant lie dressed in a blazer.
🎠A Love Story, Apparently
We are to believe this was… mutual.
Like:
👉 “I hate you.”
👉 “I hate you too.”
👉 “Let’s call it collaboration.”
Beautiful.
Truly.
A modern romance.
🧠The Logic Gymnastics
Let’s review:
Everything was:
✔️ Exceptional
✔️ Trusted
✔️ Dependable
And therefore – 👉 They had to go.
Of course.
Because when something works perfectly,
the only rational response is to remove it immediately.
🪄 The Magic Trick
Watch closely.
Conflict becomes:
✨ “A mutual decision”
Tension becomes:
✨ “A transition”
And whatever actually happened?
Gone.
Vanished.
Replaced with a sentence so polished it squeaks.
đź‘‘ A Word from the pRESIDENT
Not the President.
No.
The pRESIDENT.
Because capitalization matters when authority exceeds competence.
🔍 Reality (Uninvited, As Usual)
“Mutual” is what you say when:
👉 No one agrees
👉 No one takes responsibility
👉 And everyone hopes no one asks questions
It’s not clarity.
It’s camouflage.
🎬 Final Scene
So yes – we are told it was mutual.
And we are expected to nod, smile, and admire the wording.
But let’s not pretend.
This wasn’t mutual.
This was:
👉 carefully worded nonsense
👉 delivered with confidence
👉 and accepted by absolutely no one paying attention
Curtain.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
