A Pre-emptive Hug (and a Legal Tale Wagging) from Glinda
Dearest readers, adversaries, and legal interns from SueMore & BillMore:
If you’ve clicked on this page with steam puffing out your ears and a letterhead template open, this one’s for you.
Perhaps you’ve recently discovered that your alter ego – Bite Barker, Mildred, or Blazer Selfworth – bears a striking resemblance to your real-life temperament, wardrobe, or behaviour at Board meetings.
Perhaps you’re wondering:
- “Is this about me?”
- “Can she say that?”
- “Where’s my lawyer’s phone number?”
Let’s unpack this with a pot of tea and a touch of legal literacy.
🪄 1. Is This About You?
If you have to ask, darling, that’s between you and your conscience.
But legally speaking: satire uses exaggeration, parody, and composite characters to critique conduct, not to document biographies. If the shoe fits, perhaps ask yourself why.
🧑⚖️ 2. Can I Say This?
Yes. I live in Canada, where section 2(b) of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms protects freedom of expression, including the right to critique, parody, and satirize public behaviour – especially by people in power, such as:
- Condo board members
- Property managers
- Legal representatives acting on behalf of the above
- Those who weaponize by-laws with the passion of a Shakespearean villain
If your decisions impact a community, you’re fair game for commentary.
If your ego can’t handle a cartoon – perhaps public office (or condo politics) isn’t for you.
🧾 3. Am I Defaming Anyone?
Nope. Here’s why:
- The events described are based on verifiable facts (like that time the Board blew $170,000 fighting a service dog and lost. Twice.).
- The characters are clearly satirical, fictional, and exaggerated for humour.
- Reasonable readers – not the unhinged few – would recognize this as parody, not a press release.
- No one is accused of a crime, fraud, or immorality that isn’t already documented by court rulings or Board minutes.
If you’re offended, that’s unfortunate.
If you’re embarrassed, that’s revealing.
If you’re both – consider resigning.
📜 4. What If You Still Want to Sue?
You’re welcome to try. Truly.
But here’s the catch:
Litigating over satire makes you look like a fragile authoritarian with too much money and not enough chill.
Besides, Canada has anti-SLAPP legislation (Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation) under the Courts of Justice Act, which protects people from being sued just because their words ruffled some condo corp. feathers.
So if you do sue, know this:
- It may be dismissed early.
- You may owe me costs.
- And you’ll prove every satirical point I’ve made – just with more paperwork.
📝 5. A Loving Legal Disclaimer
All characters, names, and illustrations on this blog are satirical, fictional, and intended for humour and commentary on public conduct. Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental… or the result of unfortunate behavioural overlap. Please consult your conscience before your lawyer.
💅 Final Word (in 14pt Arial)
If you’re so bothered by what’s written here, maybe it’s not a blog you need to shut down –
maybe it’s a Boardroom you need to vacate.
Warmest regards and a good girl by my side,
Glinda,
Truth-teller. Satirist. Enemy of bloated legal invoices everywhere.
