Condo Chronicles

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Once upon a time, in a tall tower called Blenvale, there lived a group of very special people called “Board Members.” They wore Very Important Nametags and liked to say things like “in camera” and “legal counsel” to sound smart – even though most of the time they were just arguing about hall carpets and whether Mildred could talk about me one more time during a meeting. (She always could.)

Now, these Board Members had something called a fiduciary duty.

What’s that? Glad you asked, tiny learner. Sit down, and let Auntie Glinda explain, since the Board seems very confused.

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🎓 What Is a Fiduciary Duty?

Think of it like this:

If you agree to look after everyone’s lunch money, you can’t spend it on bubble gum for yourself, hide it in your sock, or give it to your best friend just because she always agrees with you.

You have to:

• 🧮 Use it for the benefit of everyone
• 🤐 Keep secrets when required (but not lie)
• 🧭 Avoid conflicts of interest
• 💌 Be honest, fair, and act in good faith
• 📢 Make decisions with care and transparency

Simple, right?

Unless, of course, you’re our Board. Then it’s very confusing.

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🧩 What Our Board Thinks Fiduciary Duty Means

• Fiduciary Duty = “Do whatever our lawyer says, even if it costs $300,000.”
• Act in Good Faith = “Let’s write passive-aggressive notices about owners instead of answering their emails.”
• Avoid Conflicts = “Appoint my sister to count ballots. She’s very neutral.”
• Transparency = “Let’s publish photos of boilers instead of the legal bills.”
• Serve the Community = “As long as by ‘community’ we mean our friends, our pets, and whoever praises us at meetings.”

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👶 Time for a Little Exercise!

Let’s play a game called “Who’s Breaching Their Fiduciary Duty?”

1. A board member hires her friend’s law firm, ignores cheaper quotes, and then says “We had no choice!”
2. The board spends owners’ money to sue someone, and forgets to tell the owners until months later.
3. A director says they “represent the Board,” not the owners.
4. A president says “We’re volunteers,” while signing off on $50,000 in fees to keep a service dog out.

Answer: All of the above. Gold star if you got it right. No cookie if you’re on the board.

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🪞Mirror Time: A Message to the Board

Dear Board,

If you were babysitters, you’d be the kind that eats all the snacks, ignores the kids, and then invoices the parents for emotional labour. “We’re volunteers!” you say. Yes, and mall Santas are volunteers too – doesn’t mean they get to spend all the toy money on beard conditioner.

Being a director means you owe duties – legal, ethical, and practical. You don’t get to play Monopoly with our money, retaliate against critics, or treat the community like an inconvenience.

You’re supposed to be stewards, not warlords. Leaders, not liability machines. But here we are. Again.

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📚 Final Lesson

If you can’t act in everyone’s best interest…

If you can’t put the community above your clique…

If you treat the Corporation like your personal social club…

…then maybe it’s time for recess. Indefinitely.

Because fiduciary duty isn’t optional – it’s the job description.

And if you don’t understand that?
We’ll keep explaining it.

Slowly. With crayons. Until it sticks. 🖍

️Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.