🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE MEETING MINUTES 🚨
The board has apparently discovered a revolutionary new governance model:
Step 1:
Ask legal counsel.
Step 2:
Ask legal counsel who to hire.
Step 3:
Ask legal counsel how to explain Step 2 to owners.
Step 4:
Send invoice to owners.
Efficiency at its finest.
🧠 INDEPENDENT THINKING HAS LEFT THE CHAT
According to the minutes, legal counsel will:
✔ draft communications to owners
✔ recommend a new property management company
✔ presumably keep the board hydrated and remind them to blink
At this point, the board could honestly replace meetings with an automatic email response:
“Thank you for your inquiry.
Please contact legal counsel for all strategic thought processes.”
🏢 THE REAL PROBLEM HERE
Choosing a management company is one of the most important decisions a condo board makes.
This is supposed to involve:
📌 operational competence
📌 financial oversight
📌 customer service
📌 maintenance performance
📌 transparency
📌 conflict resolution
📌 actual independent judgment
Not:
“Hey legal, got any favourites?”
🔥 WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Because here is the concern owners should actually think about:
If legal counsel is steering the selection process, what kind of management company is most likely to be recommended?
Option A:
A calm, independent management company focused on:
✅ de-escalation
✅ transparency
✅ solving problems quickly
✅ reducing unnecessary conflict
OR…
Option B:
A management company perfectly comfortable operating inside a permanent atmosphere of:
📨 warning letters
📑 compliance theatre
⚠ investigations
💸 billable hours
🔥 endless manufactured conflict
You know. The kind of environment where everyone is always “deeply concerned” and somehow nobody can simply fix anything.
💰 THE CONDO CONFLICT ECONOMY
Let’s be honest.
Peaceful buildings are wonderful for owners.
But endless conflict?
That keeps a lot of people very busy.
A competent manager resolves problems early.
A dysfunctional ecosystem escalates everything:
- management escalates,
- legal advises escalation,
- the board approves escalation,
- owners pay for escalation,
- and then everyone acts shocked the building atmosphere resembles a televised deposition.
🎭 THE IRONY IS INCREDIBLE
The current situation appears to have resulted from:
❌ poor judgment
❌ conflict-heavy governance
❌ operational incompetence
❌ a culture of escalation
So naturally the proposed solution is:
“Let’s have the lawyers choose the next management company.”
Absolutely flawless strategy.
Like hiring the casino to run your financial planning.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer
