💇 Meet Judy
Judy is a hairdresser.
Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a hairdresser.
The problem begins when Judy becomes convinced that running a condo corporation, managing a multi-million-dollar budget, interpreting engineering reports, overseeing reserve fund projects, and making infrastructure decisions are basically the same thing as cutting bangs.
The board agrees.
And that’s when the fun begins.
🎓 The Mathematical Problem
A physicist asks a mathematician:
“Can you give me an axiom for a three-dimensional space?”
The mathematician replies:
“I have one for n dimensions.”
The physicist says:
“No, no. I specifically need three dimensions.”
The mathematician looks puzzled.
“Then replace n with 3.”
Problem solved.
Simple.
Elegant.
Logical.
Unfortunately, Judy was listening.
💇 Judy Has Questions
Judy immediately objects.
“But how do we know it works for three?”
The mathematician patiently explains:
“Because three is a number.”
Judy remains skeptical.
A consultant is hired.
A committee is formed.
Two board meetings are scheduled.
Legal is consulted.
🛣️ The Asphalt Theory
Later, discussion turns to paving.
An owner asks:
“How much asphalt should be poured?”
A contractor says:
“We can determine that through measurements and engineering standards.”
Judy shakes her head.
“No.”
“Only the company that poured the original asphalt would know.”
The room falls silent.
The contractor wonders whether he has accidentally entered an alternate dimension.
🎭 The Board’s Greatest Achievement
After a year of meetings, studies, reports, invoices, consultant fees, legal bills, and countless hours of deliberation, the board reaches a historic conclusion:
Findings
✅ Three is a number.
✅ Engineering principles can be applied to specific situations.
✅ Evidence is generally useful.
❌ Except when Judy is speaking.
🏆 The Moral of the Story
The mathematician understands that if a rule applies to n, it also applies to 3.
Engineers understand that infrastructure decisions should be based on facts.
Professionals understand that evidence matters.
Judy the Hairdresser understands something entirely different:
If a statement supports the board’s narrative, it is self-evidently true.
If it does not, another consultant must be hired.
And that, dear owners, is how a condo board can spend thousands of dollars proving that 3 is, in fact, a number.
Disclaimer: This post is satire and opinion. Read full disclaimer.
